Sunday, August 14, 2005

Death before Dishonor!

Oh my GAWD.

so I guess I've had a little pent up frustration, and this weekend it decided that it would no longer be tethered. Friday I worked a full day, and it was sooooo busy that I forgot to eat anything all day. Friday night was Vortex night as usual, and one of my favorite guys that I've been trying to get out of his shell came with me from work.

might be the last time that happens.

so I get to the 'tex and proceed to drink at my usual pace, not realizing that I haven't chowed all day. My lovely wife and sister-in-law have been there for a little bit, and decide that they'd had enough and bolt. I wasn't ready to go. On top of that I was having a fabu time talking to CC and watching him realize that this cute oriental geek was trying to pick him up. So I had a few more, and then decided that if I were going to get home, I should go. Now.

navigated my way home, only to find that my neighbor the DJ rap star was lying in wait. Sure enough, five minutes after I get home, he comes over and we get down to the business of drinking. Copious amounts. Niagara. Flow rates like the Amazon. So, still having not eaten anything but the corner of a chicken sandwich generously donated by the twins, I rapidly approach the status know as shitfaced. This is alright with me; I'm at home with my wife and a good friend with no place to be and no time to be there. So I let it rip. The new music my wife has been listening to that I hate, let that rip. The idiot in the oval office? Ripped. The state of the media today? destructed. dev team at work? Obliterated. Of course, I have no recall of any of this, it's all hearsay. Though I did get a compliment from one of the worlds foremost DJs - " man - when you're drunk you sure can mix!"

so I spent most of Saturday recovering, and swearing that I would never do anything so stupid again. I went to Home despot to get another disposal, since ours was jammed and starting, nay, continuing, nay, intensifying the disposal smell. So I came home from HD to find my sister-in-law twisting my wife's arm to go out. You know she's just been divorced - she's 25 and a doll, with a couple of hangups, but she's bored. And my wife, she's 25 and a doll, with a couple of hangups, but she was cool enough to marry me, and I want to stay out of her way while she's kicking it and figuring out the whole 25-30 thing. So they hang out a lot; I mean they're fucking twins, so what do you expect. But they're like the dynamic fucking duo, a hurricane corridor, don't feed the bears. So I replaced the insinkerator, and they went out. Sis was already looking good, and the wife was not going to be outdone and got all dolled up. Ironically, they only went around the corner, and came back about the time I was all covered in grime from finishing the disposal. So I got cleaned up, and found them watching Chapelle season 2. Guess what? We got drunk.

I wasn't planning to; the ladies were well on their way, and enjoying themselves. But then my freakish neighbor showed up, and told me how entertaining I was the night before. That sealed it. I never made it in the biz, but we have some kind of freakish bond - I understand enough of what he goes through to be a pal, but don't care enough to ask him every 5 minutes to do an album for me. So we're cool. And we drink a lot. So when he comes over, it's on. Death before Dishonor!

and he's got a thing for my sis.

not unexpected. She's a babe. I mean I should know, I married her sister. And I got the evil one.

At anyrate, so we fucking rocked the house all night long. Watched a bunch of Chapelle, spun some tunes, just got rocked. I felt like a fucking chaperone. Not my problem. The wife, who'd been up longer than I, passed out, and we finally ran the DJ off to his house. Sis set off the alarm, and the cops came - but I slept through that.

an excellent weekend all told. I think my liver's moved out, though. I can't seem to find it.

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1 comment:

Lauren Jayne said...